Today, i discovered a brand new pair of socks my dad bought for me. Now, i've got nothing against socks, really. I love them in fact - knee high, thigh high, calf length even, but not. . . OK, i hate ankle length socks. They're just. Horrid.
Like, i mean, they're adorable yes, but if you're wearing basketball shoes or ANY other kind of ankle length shoe, the shoes rub against your ankle and any other part of your leg that is exposed.
So, you might say "Big deal. Just buy a pair of normal socks instead of complaining"
Well, the next time you visit a store, look at the women's section and tell me if you see a pair of normal socks. The answer will be no. Why?
Because the geniuses at the fashion industry thought 'Oh you know, these ankle length socks are sooo adorable!'
So the whole world fell into the rut of ankle length socks, like they forgot that there are women who like playing games, who happen to WEAR SHOES. What do you have against us? And honestly speaking, what do people have against long socks? I mean, every time i've peeled the socks off in front of any guy, boyfriend or friend or whatever, they look, they stare - drool even. Long socks by jove are sexy. But Noooo. You people want stupid irritating scab and injury developing ankle length socks.
Fine. Rant done. Let me be fair to these socks now. Now, when you're feeling cold, like you're feet are feeling cold, what's the most logical thing to do? You pull on a pair of socks. Right. Now, what use are these socks exactly when they don't cover a length up to your calves? You're still cold. End of story.
Now, admittedly, i do commit the sin of wearing socks with heels. Open, exposed heels that is. I mean, my toes are cold and i'd rather they're not. So i pull on a pair of accursed ankle length socks. Now, of course, my feet are nice and warm, but now my ankle strap is cutting and jabbing into my skin, because there is not enough MATERIAL covering my ANKLE so it HURTS!
Honestly speaking, i see no use for these socks. Now of course, i could go to the men's section and buy a pair of socks, but have you seen the colors? Black, gray and white. I mean, i've got nothing against the colors, but after some time, when you need socks and you see them you wince and cringe and bemoan the loss of women's normal length socks.
The second reason and most primary reason as to why i don't pick up men's socks is because they're too big for me. I'm a size 3 according to Indian and UK standards, meaning that picking up shoes is near impossible for me. I don't about all you other ladies out there, but it's soooo difficult to find a beautiful pair of shoes that are in your size. So, no, sadly i can't pick up men's socks.
Now, the topic is clothes, so let's go there.
First i'll talk about sports wear since i have a very sore spot there.
Ahem, so, have you walked into Reebok or Adidas or Puma and found that strangely, they all have the exact same cut, size, shape and yes, even style. It's amazing really, i can imagine the conversation between the heads of their department going all 'Hey, for the fall season we're planning this' and everyone else says 'wow we're all doing the exact same thing!'
And they couldn't give a damn! They're just like 'Oh well'
So, what are these clothes you find? Let's look at the bottom's first and keep in mind that we're in India, the land where our ministers, female or male say that the woman was wearing something revealing, so she was asking for it.
Shorts have to there right? and what length are they? Just about covering your nether regions. Now i can imagine a lot of uses for this in a bedroom, but not outside or to a gym where i'll be well, exposed. I mean, i'm not sure about the other women out there, but with the looks men give us when we're modestly covered, i really can't imagine what would happen if you wore those shorts.
Plus, they stick to your body and if you have slightly chubby thighs . . . the sight is not the best. AND There are no shorts that are knee length. NONE.
Why? Because we have calf length, skin tight, panty exposing if you bend track pants! How awesome if i wanted to seduce my husband at home by doing yoga in front of him while he's watching TV so he comes to me and gives my body what it wants. Then again, it could be your boyfriend or girlfriend too, trust me, they'll eat you up if you want them to.
Now, ahem. Supposing i decided i wanted to go to a gym or out to buy groceries and this is somewhat more comfortable than a skirt or jeans or something, everytime i bend down, there would be eyes on my butt, hoping for a panty line exposure. And if you have a slightly big butt, people will simply wait for you to walk by so they can stare at it.
Now the ass staring was started by songs because honestly speaking, i dig women and yes i do like it when they sway their ass and look sexy, but when you have no interest in the woman before you, why are you even staring at her ass? Just, why? After some point, asses aren't exactly sexy. It's, well, it's a butt.
And finally, the crowning glory of the store, full length, extra long track pants that will make sure you trip, but flatter you ever so slightly if you have slim legs (seriously, i am not even kidding people don't think about plus size people). Now, these are track pants for the winter or during cold months, so why, why is it that we don't have any normal looking not over exposing shorts?
So, what do i do? I go begrudgingly to the men's section. Now, understand that i have nothing against men's clothes, they're far more comfortable and for once you can find something in 100% cotton instead of spandex, it's great EXCEPT, I a WOMAN have to GO to the MEN'S section. Yes people, i hope all you so called 'fashion changing' mind blowing designers out there are happy. You chased a woman out of the section she SHOULD have been SHOPPING in. Are you happy yet?
Ahem. sorry. Right, so i got to the men's section and the sales staff ask the most irritating question.
"Buying something for your boyfriend?" Is this a pick up line? Coz it's the absolute worst pick up line. Secondly as a woman, in the men's section, no i DO NOT want your help till i need it, so leave me the fuck alone.
Ok, so supposing that's not what happens, instead they hover around nervously like they can't figure what foreign magical colored bug walked into their section, infact, some of them will re-direct you, they'll be like "Ma'am, this is the men's section, the women's section is over there"
And honestly, i know their jobs can be demanding at times, but sometimes i just want to say
"I know you fucking idiot! Why the hell else do you think i'm even here? Do you think I'd walk to the men's section if there was something decent in the women's section?"
I wouldn't mind doing that and seeing the look on their face, in fact, my cousin says that i have this super serious irritated annoyed expression on my face when dealing with them, like i'm dealing with a five year old who doesn't understand what the meaning of NO is and also that i look like i could have them fired at any moment by placing a single phone call. So, yes, they're probably already shitting bricks.
So, when you FINALLY manage to get past your opposition, you're like OK, now let me pick up a pair of shorts that will actually be knee length and are 100% cotton. You make your purchase and you walk out a happy woman. For those of you who have not experienced men's sports shorts that are 100% cotton, trust me, you're missing out on the comfort factor in your life. I love wearing these at home and even when walking out to buy groceries and so on.
As for the tops . . . well sometimes i wonder what is even running through people's heads. There are colors that don't even go together in stripes, floral prints that no one in their right mind would wear and then finally vests. Now, these vests are sexy. End of story. Plus, the fit is nice, but the colors. Neon. What is wrong with normal colors that don't burn your eyeballs out? Or even more dull or depressing colors like black or navy blue or i don't know some NICE color?
And that's how the sports world treats women. Like we DON'T EXIST.
In any case, yes, you might say but hey there's women's sports and all that jazz. Well to you sir/ma'am, when was the last time you watched a match that had women players? Hmm? Because honestly speaking, i don't ever remember watching a single match between two or more women. Other than maybe fencing. In the olympics.
Moving on, let's talk about norma clothes, you know, casual clothes that you wear when stepping out into the world, where you're friends and family members and strangers and colleagues can see you.
The first issue is (blows trumpet) : Cropped sweaters and shrugs!
Honestly, i think it was the tactic of someone who realized that their sweaters looked extremely ugly, so they cut it short. And that ladies and gentlemen is actually how cropped sweaters and probably even shrugs were invented.
Now, i understand that when it's warm out, you might wear something sleeveless and as evening approaches you realize you arms are chilly. Fine, shrugs are well, okay i guess, but aren't hoodies and jackets waaaaay cooler and cuter? Or am i mistaken? I mean, hoodies with the faux fur trim are cute and hoodies themselves are relaxed and comfortable and then jackets, i mean, who doesn't love jackets? Personally, i love the super long jackets that are ankle length, it's just a Carmen Sandiego thing. But, honestly, i'm sold on long jackets, so when i look at shrugs that have less material and cover less and don't offer half the benefits jackets do, i don't know, i'm just questioning their need.
Now cropped sweaters are worse. What do you do WHEN YOU'RE, i dunno COLD? I mean, what sort of insane logic was required to sell those things? When you're cold, it's not just your chest that needs to be warm, but also your stomach. I mean, ladies, imagine you're cold and you wear this cropped sweater when you have your period. It's just a recipe for disaster.
You'll be cold, in pain, cranky and probably end up acting like a monster. Instead, if you wore something nice and warm and cozy, you'll be a warm, HAPPY person. Not to mention a nice person.
Next issue of the day! (trumpet please) T - shirts and tops!
Floral tops, plain solid colored T shirts or T shirts with prints of unicorns and oh my god! more flowers! and silly slogans like "I'm beautiful" or i don't know something as crappy.
Firstly, let me just say you are catering to the image you have created for women. there are some other women like me, who happen to like superheroes and want to wear something COMFORTABLE and NOT GIRLY. But Nooooo. DO we get any such options? No.
I mean fine, in shirts defense they were never meant to be comfortable, they're just there to choke the life out of you, so let's leave the shirts out of this coz most times, if you look hard enough (like 4 hours or more) you'll find a beautiful shirt, that covers your arms and doesn't reveal cleavage. Yay!
So, T shirts. What do you do? You go to the men's section. Exactly.
Now once more, you're faced with idiotic sales staff. but fine, there's not much you can do about them. So, through the suffering we find the rack we're looking for! The T shirts, with super hero prints! Hip hip hooray.
Before i forget, why are there no superhero/heroin T shirts? Do people have something against that? I mean, if you have barbie and fairies and unicorns, what's wrong with star fire or black widow or i don't know, someone awesome?
Anyway, you look through the men's section and find some T shirts you wouldn't mind wearing outside in the open world, but make sure it's 3 times your size because the round neck tends to choke you otherwise. I just, i can't even begin to fathom the logic behind that, but whatever. So, you've made you pick and you're happy with life and the sales staff comes. And deep inside, you're like Oh God, what now?
"There are smiley T shirts in the women's counter"
Implication: You don't fucking belong here and you shouldn't wear awesome superhero t shirts because you're female so get the fuck out of here.
And for God sakes. Smiley T shirts? Is this what we have been degraded to? SMILEYS?
i for once, i lost all hope. I mean, shopping in the women's section is hard enough, and then, in the men's section the sales staff ask and say such stupid things you just want to whack them instead of explaining to them what fucking idiots their branch managers are for not providing for the women who don't want florals or unicorns or barbie.
The final topic for the day (because otherwise i will start raging instead of writing) : Jeans!
Levi's. Need i say more?
So, there's slim curve, demi curve and some other curves i couldn't be bothered about. Secondly, there's super skinny fit, normal skinny fit, no normal fit and most certainly no flared pants fit.
Now, i've looked through the jeans A LOT of times in Levi's and there's this disparity, this very clear disparity between the slim curve styles and washes and all of the others curves styles and washes.
The slim curve gets the most AWESOME wash while the others don't get anything awesome. they look like shit in comparison. And will Levi's take custom orders? NO.
So you kind of sit there really, really sadly, contemplating the mysteries of your ass and wondering and wishing why it couldn't have been flatter. Anyways, as if that's not enough, you would hope that the fashion industry would get it act together, well . . . NO.
See, first there was low waist, now it's super high waist. What happened to the normal waist? What was wrong with that huh? What? Then, as if that much suffering and sucking in your belly and everything isn't enough, your jeans STICK to you. i mean, i have these beautiful light wash pair of jeans that i bought a few years back and even though they're torn, i STILL wear them because they're so damned COMFY.
Of course, SUPER skinny STICKS to you, so you'd think normal skinny should be ok right? Right? NO. Even normal skinny kind of slides on your skin rubbing and sticking though not as much as the prior, but bottom line, its uncomfortable.
Are there any normal pants? Slightly flared? Anything comfortable? NO.
And that ladies and gentlemen and whoever else is reading this, is how irritating and annoying it is to go shopping. Someday, i would rather stitch my own clothes rather than buying them from outside because when that someday comes, and trust me, it will, clothes will be so ugly and uncomfortable and revealing that you WILL want to stitch your own clothes.
Like, i mean, they're adorable yes, but if you're wearing basketball shoes or ANY other kind of ankle length shoe, the shoes rub against your ankle and any other part of your leg that is exposed.
So, you might say "Big deal. Just buy a pair of normal socks instead of complaining"
Well, the next time you visit a store, look at the women's section and tell me if you see a pair of normal socks. The answer will be no. Why?
Because the geniuses at the fashion industry thought 'Oh you know, these ankle length socks are sooo adorable!'
So the whole world fell into the rut of ankle length socks, like they forgot that there are women who like playing games, who happen to WEAR SHOES. What do you have against us? And honestly speaking, what do people have against long socks? I mean, every time i've peeled the socks off in front of any guy, boyfriend or friend or whatever, they look, they stare - drool even. Long socks by jove are sexy. But Noooo. You people want stupid irritating scab and injury developing ankle length socks.
Fine. Rant done. Let me be fair to these socks now. Now, when you're feeling cold, like you're feet are feeling cold, what's the most logical thing to do? You pull on a pair of socks. Right. Now, what use are these socks exactly when they don't cover a length up to your calves? You're still cold. End of story.
Now, admittedly, i do commit the sin of wearing socks with heels. Open, exposed heels that is. I mean, my toes are cold and i'd rather they're not. So i pull on a pair of accursed ankle length socks. Now, of course, my feet are nice and warm, but now my ankle strap is cutting and jabbing into my skin, because there is not enough MATERIAL covering my ANKLE so it HURTS!
Honestly speaking, i see no use for these socks. Now of course, i could go to the men's section and buy a pair of socks, but have you seen the colors? Black, gray and white. I mean, i've got nothing against the colors, but after some time, when you need socks and you see them you wince and cringe and bemoan the loss of women's normal length socks.
The second reason and most primary reason as to why i don't pick up men's socks is because they're too big for me. I'm a size 3 according to Indian and UK standards, meaning that picking up shoes is near impossible for me. I don't about all you other ladies out there, but it's soooo difficult to find a beautiful pair of shoes that are in your size. So, no, sadly i can't pick up men's socks.
Now, the topic is clothes, so let's go there.
First i'll talk about sports wear since i have a very sore spot there.
Ahem, so, have you walked into Reebok or Adidas or Puma and found that strangely, they all have the exact same cut, size, shape and yes, even style. It's amazing really, i can imagine the conversation between the heads of their department going all 'Hey, for the fall season we're planning this' and everyone else says 'wow we're all doing the exact same thing!'
And they couldn't give a damn! They're just like 'Oh well'
So, what are these clothes you find? Let's look at the bottom's first and keep in mind that we're in India, the land where our ministers, female or male say that the woman was wearing something revealing, so she was asking for it.
Shorts have to there right? and what length are they? Just about covering your nether regions. Now i can imagine a lot of uses for this in a bedroom, but not outside or to a gym where i'll be well, exposed. I mean, i'm not sure about the other women out there, but with the looks men give us when we're modestly covered, i really can't imagine what would happen if you wore those shorts.
Plus, they stick to your body and if you have slightly chubby thighs . . . the sight is not the best. AND There are no shorts that are knee length. NONE.
Why? Because we have calf length, skin tight, panty exposing if you bend track pants! How awesome if i wanted to seduce my husband at home by doing yoga in front of him while he's watching TV so he comes to me and gives my body what it wants. Then again, it could be your boyfriend or girlfriend too, trust me, they'll eat you up if you want them to.
Now, ahem. Supposing i decided i wanted to go to a gym or out to buy groceries and this is somewhat more comfortable than a skirt or jeans or something, everytime i bend down, there would be eyes on my butt, hoping for a panty line exposure. And if you have a slightly big butt, people will simply wait for you to walk by so they can stare at it.
Now the ass staring was started by songs because honestly speaking, i dig women and yes i do like it when they sway their ass and look sexy, but when you have no interest in the woman before you, why are you even staring at her ass? Just, why? After some point, asses aren't exactly sexy. It's, well, it's a butt.
And finally, the crowning glory of the store, full length, extra long track pants that will make sure you trip, but flatter you ever so slightly if you have slim legs (seriously, i am not even kidding people don't think about plus size people). Now, these are track pants for the winter or during cold months, so why, why is it that we don't have any normal looking not over exposing shorts?
So, what do i do? I go begrudgingly to the men's section. Now, understand that i have nothing against men's clothes, they're far more comfortable and for once you can find something in 100% cotton instead of spandex, it's great EXCEPT, I a WOMAN have to GO to the MEN'S section. Yes people, i hope all you so called 'fashion changing' mind blowing designers out there are happy. You chased a woman out of the section she SHOULD have been SHOPPING in. Are you happy yet?
Ahem. sorry. Right, so i got to the men's section and the sales staff ask the most irritating question.
"Buying something for your boyfriend?" Is this a pick up line? Coz it's the absolute worst pick up line. Secondly as a woman, in the men's section, no i DO NOT want your help till i need it, so leave me the fuck alone.
Ok, so supposing that's not what happens, instead they hover around nervously like they can't figure what foreign magical colored bug walked into their section, infact, some of them will re-direct you, they'll be like "Ma'am, this is the men's section, the women's section is over there"
And honestly, i know their jobs can be demanding at times, but sometimes i just want to say
"I know you fucking idiot! Why the hell else do you think i'm even here? Do you think I'd walk to the men's section if there was something decent in the women's section?"
I wouldn't mind doing that and seeing the look on their face, in fact, my cousin says that i have this super serious irritated annoyed expression on my face when dealing with them, like i'm dealing with a five year old who doesn't understand what the meaning of NO is and also that i look like i could have them fired at any moment by placing a single phone call. So, yes, they're probably already shitting bricks.
So, when you FINALLY manage to get past your opposition, you're like OK, now let me pick up a pair of shorts that will actually be knee length and are 100% cotton. You make your purchase and you walk out a happy woman. For those of you who have not experienced men's sports shorts that are 100% cotton, trust me, you're missing out on the comfort factor in your life. I love wearing these at home and even when walking out to buy groceries and so on.
As for the tops . . . well sometimes i wonder what is even running through people's heads. There are colors that don't even go together in stripes, floral prints that no one in their right mind would wear and then finally vests. Now, these vests are sexy. End of story. Plus, the fit is nice, but the colors. Neon. What is wrong with normal colors that don't burn your eyeballs out? Or even more dull or depressing colors like black or navy blue or i don't know some NICE color?
And that's how the sports world treats women. Like we DON'T EXIST.
In any case, yes, you might say but hey there's women's sports and all that jazz. Well to you sir/ma'am, when was the last time you watched a match that had women players? Hmm? Because honestly speaking, i don't ever remember watching a single match between two or more women. Other than maybe fencing. In the olympics.
Moving on, let's talk about norma clothes, you know, casual clothes that you wear when stepping out into the world, where you're friends and family members and strangers and colleagues can see you.
The first issue is (blows trumpet) : Cropped sweaters and shrugs!
Honestly, i think it was the tactic of someone who realized that their sweaters looked extremely ugly, so they cut it short. And that ladies and gentlemen is actually how cropped sweaters and probably even shrugs were invented.
Now, i understand that when it's warm out, you might wear something sleeveless and as evening approaches you realize you arms are chilly. Fine, shrugs are well, okay i guess, but aren't hoodies and jackets waaaaay cooler and cuter? Or am i mistaken? I mean, hoodies with the faux fur trim are cute and hoodies themselves are relaxed and comfortable and then jackets, i mean, who doesn't love jackets? Personally, i love the super long jackets that are ankle length, it's just a Carmen Sandiego thing. But, honestly, i'm sold on long jackets, so when i look at shrugs that have less material and cover less and don't offer half the benefits jackets do, i don't know, i'm just questioning their need.
Now cropped sweaters are worse. What do you do WHEN YOU'RE, i dunno COLD? I mean, what sort of insane logic was required to sell those things? When you're cold, it's not just your chest that needs to be warm, but also your stomach. I mean, ladies, imagine you're cold and you wear this cropped sweater when you have your period. It's just a recipe for disaster.
You'll be cold, in pain, cranky and probably end up acting like a monster. Instead, if you wore something nice and warm and cozy, you'll be a warm, HAPPY person. Not to mention a nice person.
Next issue of the day! (trumpet please) T - shirts and tops!
Floral tops, plain solid colored T shirts or T shirts with prints of unicorns and oh my god! more flowers! and silly slogans like "I'm beautiful" or i don't know something as crappy.
Firstly, let me just say you are catering to the image you have created for women. there are some other women like me, who happen to like superheroes and want to wear something COMFORTABLE and NOT GIRLY. But Nooooo. DO we get any such options? No.
I mean fine, in shirts defense they were never meant to be comfortable, they're just there to choke the life out of you, so let's leave the shirts out of this coz most times, if you look hard enough (like 4 hours or more) you'll find a beautiful shirt, that covers your arms and doesn't reveal cleavage. Yay!
So, T shirts. What do you do? You go to the men's section. Exactly.
Now once more, you're faced with idiotic sales staff. but fine, there's not much you can do about them. So, through the suffering we find the rack we're looking for! The T shirts, with super hero prints! Hip hip hooray.
Before i forget, why are there no superhero/heroin T shirts? Do people have something against that? I mean, if you have barbie and fairies and unicorns, what's wrong with star fire or black widow or i don't know, someone awesome?
Anyway, you look through the men's section and find some T shirts you wouldn't mind wearing outside in the open world, but make sure it's 3 times your size because the round neck tends to choke you otherwise. I just, i can't even begin to fathom the logic behind that, but whatever. So, you've made you pick and you're happy with life and the sales staff comes. And deep inside, you're like Oh God, what now?
"There are smiley T shirts in the women's counter"
Implication: You don't fucking belong here and you shouldn't wear awesome superhero t shirts because you're female so get the fuck out of here.
And for God sakes. Smiley T shirts? Is this what we have been degraded to? SMILEYS?
i for once, i lost all hope. I mean, shopping in the women's section is hard enough, and then, in the men's section the sales staff ask and say such stupid things you just want to whack them instead of explaining to them what fucking idiots their branch managers are for not providing for the women who don't want florals or unicorns or barbie.
The final topic for the day (because otherwise i will start raging instead of writing) : Jeans!
Levi's. Need i say more?
So, there's slim curve, demi curve and some other curves i couldn't be bothered about. Secondly, there's super skinny fit, normal skinny fit, no normal fit and most certainly no flared pants fit.
Now, i've looked through the jeans A LOT of times in Levi's and there's this disparity, this very clear disparity between the slim curve styles and washes and all of the others curves styles and washes.
The slim curve gets the most AWESOME wash while the others don't get anything awesome. they look like shit in comparison. And will Levi's take custom orders? NO.
So you kind of sit there really, really sadly, contemplating the mysteries of your ass and wondering and wishing why it couldn't have been flatter. Anyways, as if that's not enough, you would hope that the fashion industry would get it act together, well . . . NO.
See, first there was low waist, now it's super high waist. What happened to the normal waist? What was wrong with that huh? What? Then, as if that much suffering and sucking in your belly and everything isn't enough, your jeans STICK to you. i mean, i have these beautiful light wash pair of jeans that i bought a few years back and even though they're torn, i STILL wear them because they're so damned COMFY.
Of course, SUPER skinny STICKS to you, so you'd think normal skinny should be ok right? Right? NO. Even normal skinny kind of slides on your skin rubbing and sticking though not as much as the prior, but bottom line, its uncomfortable.
Are there any normal pants? Slightly flared? Anything comfortable? NO.
And that ladies and gentlemen and whoever else is reading this, is how irritating and annoying it is to go shopping. Someday, i would rather stitch my own clothes rather than buying them from outside because when that someday comes, and trust me, it will, clothes will be so ugly and uncomfortable and revealing that you WILL want to stitch your own clothes.
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